Why not...

I’ll begin this by saying, I am thankful for how far God has brought me, and I know how blessed I am, but it comes a point where we all must vent, and that’s all this is. These last 3 months have been the toughest in my entire life. After the celebration of graduation quickly faded, reality of unemployment set in. I’ve endlessly applied for internships in the career path I want to pursue, to only be slapped in the face. I’ve finally be fortunate enough to gain some work at the local university, but if not given the proper teachings, my qualifications still won’t be enough to apply to other internships. I’m more than anything tired of my current job. As humbling as waiting tables is, it’s becoming demeaning. “Managers” who know I have a degree talk to me as if I’m 5. Patrons see me as just another Black kid who isn’t doing so well. I’m not sure how I’m holding on besides the word. Day by day, it’s the same thing. I can’t win for losing. I don’t like sympathy, so I try to deal with shit on my own. The moment I think it’s time to reach out to someone, they let me down. One can only take so many. I don’t even want to say anymore so:

FUCK all the naysayers.

FUCK all the people who say they care, to only show different.

FUCK all the people who think they know your struggle.

FUCK all the times I needed someone, and no one was there.

FUCK all the times I wanted to cry, but had too much pride to do it.

FUCK all the countless days I wonder when I’ll get a shot.

FUCK all the times I had to put my problems on the shelf to help unload someone else’s.

FUCK all the times I wasn’t given a chance.

FUCK all the people who think, because of their title, I give a FUCK.

FUCK all the people who think I set unrealistic goals.

FUCK all the people who want me be to conventional.

FUCK all the times I’ve asked something of someone, for them to only fail me.

FUCK all the ones I forgave, for them to do it again. (Now YOU know why I am the way I am).

FUCK all the mistakes I made in the past.

FUCK all the future ones to come.

FUCK all the liquor I’ve used to mask my feelings.

FUCK all the Devils in Angel wings.

FUCK all hypocrites.

FUCK all the people who ignore my opinion.

FUCK all the bullshit apologies.

FUCK all the breakdowns I suppressed.

FUCK it all…